Brain Partitions

First off, while downing two Dayquil pills, praying to all my Gods that I will get better by tomorrow’s BIG DISNEY TRIP, I thought of something that’s ironic (in my life surprisingly little is ironic); I am most like my uncle. You know, that one in the family who has always gone his own pot smoking, incense-burning, metaphysical worshipping way. Here I am sucking down Emergen-C, and cursing the fact that my Organic Apple Juice and Greens+ has not worked wonders the way I thought it would. Here I am, still sick. Damn you.

I’ve strayed from my thoughts  … anyway, so here it is, the revelation that I am like my uncle. Closet hippie, worried about where to go in the afterlife, wanting Nirvana here now, sucking down healthy organic alternatives, making breaks from the norm, just wanting to be different. Here I am, different, and lonely. Mainstream people just don’t understand me and why I am as complex the way I am. I know I can count on one hand the number of people that actually truly 100% accept me for who I am and make an effort to understand the depth of my craziness, which I’m thankful for. So what am I whining about? I’m left wondering if it’s possible to grow white wool.

Onwards to the next booth! I went to bed early last night, letting my own body and ample rest try to stop this cursed illness from roaming further, and thus a slew of maddening dreams started. I remember waking up and I was at assembly in SMTD2. The world was changed, and I know I was there but I was the me I am now, as opposed to the me I was in school back then. Being a Prefect (Trivia: Pengawas in Malay) was always a proud moment for me, as I loved the leadership position it put me in, and let my talents in organization shine. Plus, everyone loved me, so it helped. Alas! My dreams were about to shatter my illusion of perfect self-importance like the ankles on the author in Misery.

After assembly, I was walking with one of my other Prefect friends, and I hunkered down to start making plans to chart out the new cycle on the duty roster. To which she replied, “Oh, you’re not Head Prefect anymore, Nora is.” and I see Nora up front, with her white tudung and her baby blue uniform and white skirt underneath her wrap. So that was a bucket of ice water to begin with. Then she (whom I can only assume at this point to be Wai Sim) took me to the courtyard between Blocks A and B and pointed upwards, they had beautified the buildings by sticking rocks and pebbles all over the ceiling. Weird.

As we crossed that area and walked up the stairs, me defeated and confused, I looked at WS, and said “I thought you hated animals.” There in her hand, she had 4 baby hamsters, each the size of a pea, but they had all their baby fur which was strange. She said “No, you only assumed I hated animals.” Damn. Owned again. Am I really such a terrible person? Was I such a horrible person in school?

So we arrive at the classroom, I drop my bag next to the chair and desk at the front of the class. The teacher was already starting a math class, and there was a formula on the board. Everyone was into their textbooks, and heavy on scratching down some solution to the problem she had announced. She looked like Miss Rita, the Assistant Headmistress, but not quite. I was panicking because I didn’t have the book, and I couldn’t halfway comprehend the formula on the board. It was algebra though, my favorite, but I couldn’t do it, I’d forgotten EVERYTHING! So the freak out continued. Then the teacher noticed me. Uh oh.

She said ”Put your Blackberry away and put on some pants!” 

I looked down, and I was wearing my pajama top – an oversized long sleeved shirt, and that was it. OMG! I shoved my Blackberry into the desk hole and grabbed a pair of pants from my bag (how did it get there?) and ran to the bathroom. Next thing I know I hear footsteps behind me, and it is Tan Wei Ti (my ex-boyfriend). He looked exactly like how I remember him. He told me to quickly put it on, being very sympathetic to this one crazy girl’s problems. I am thankful that I brought a pair of pants, only to realise they were too SMALL! I squeezed myself into them, the pants just barely cut off at my calves. All in all, looking ridiculous, thinking this is one of the worst days of my life and how did I get into this mess? Who was to blame!? I was going to hurt someone, but I had no one to blame but myself. Is this what you call a fevered dream? Ha ha

As I walked back to my classroom, I remember being very sad because the one person I did not see was Liang Koon Hong, who had been my best friend growing up. Maybe I just miss him. I remember Twittering on my Blackberry about “Oh shit, what the hell is going on!?” and barely paying attention to anything else.

Hands down, worst dream ever. When I woke up, my throat was like the Sonora and my thoughts were heavy. It was only a dream, myself attacking myself. Oh, by the way, I’m still awesome.